Dustin and Andy: A Discourse in… Something.
Andy: Hey man! I haven’t seen you since elementary school! Still living in Lincoln?
Dustin: Yeah, actually I did a stint in the unarmed forces, so like, after that, I got all jaded and stuff and moved to LA to start my dog grooming/talent scouting agency. After having a lucid affair with a gold-digging collie (trained to sniff out and dig up gold), I decided that Jesus was my homeboy and moved back to the backwaters of Milwaukee. There I discovered that you don’t need Jesus to do heroin, and decided that my uncle was right, I WAS too gay for Milwaukee. So yeah, now I’m back in Lincoln.
Dude, remember Mrs. Chakakhan? She was SOO weird!
Dustin: And, I had no idea you were a cubs fan/ besties with my math teacher.
http://www.math.unl.edu/~s-adelegg1/
Andy: Yeah, Anty and I go back. Way back. I remember the deep, rough butt massages that he would give me. Also, the occasional butt message. Weirdly, I dated Mrs. Chakakhan after my dad was done dating her. I can’t blame him for the smells he stained onto her, but I can blame him for the smells he stained on me. Anyway, she’s a great woman and I’ll never forget: her penis.
I’m glad you’re back in Lincoln. I was thinking of moving back in 1983, but then I realized: that was 25 years ago and now my sense of time is eternally borked. I tried having a little talk with my sense of time, but I was late to our meeting. I don’t mean to be rude, but that image of me was taken at a very poor time. I had just escaped from Anty’s “‘I touch you there, hard!’ Closet” and that Cubs shirt was the only garment I could find that would cover all of my new wounds. My thick, sopping wet new wounds that just love to be called bad names. Luckily, I found him just in time for a photo op. His last photo op.
andy
4 years ago • 0 notes